Deep Expression

These days the weeks seem to be passing by faster and faster. Days are starting to become blurs. I guess I'm getting to the point where I'm not thinking about time as much and I'm just living the life here. I've been writing a lot of songs and I've really enjoyed recording with my guitar and my computer. One time, someone here asked me if I ever get tired of playing the guitar because it seems like I'm always playing it. I told him that it's something that I've always loved to do and when I was back in the states I used to play the piano 6 to 12 hours a week. I never count the hours, it's just a part of me.

The other day I watched a show about a lady that is an amazing musician. They were filming a impromptu recording session she was having with another guy. All they had was a huge room and some random things to use for percussion. They would tap on pipes, play guitars with sticks stuck in the strings, whatever they wanted to create sound with. I was even more amazed when I found out that this woman is deaf and has been since she was 11. She doesn't hear the music through her ears, she feels it through her body. The whole thing really resonated with me because I could really relate to their approach to making music. All the time I find myself taping a beat out on a desk, hitting sticks against different objects to see what quality of sound they make. I realized the thing that captivated me the most was the intense emotion that went into it. They were recording an impromptu CD. Nothing was planned. They just went in there and did it. Whatever they felt came out. They had to be totally in touch with themselves and their surrounds to create such a beautiful union of rhythm. When something is 100% emotion, it comes from a deep, deep place that isn't pre-planned but experienced. That's why I think the experience they had creating the music might have been even better than listening to it. I know that the experience of creating music for me is a huge part of enjoying it. It's part of the processes. But at the same time, once you've put so much of yourself into something, it's only natural to want to sit back, relax, and push play when it's all done.

As I came away from watching that show, I realized that it's really important for me to feel totally free to express myself. I'm a creative person and being all that I am might produce off the wall results but that's where I find the most inner peace within myself. I can't restrict who I am by absorbing lies that say I have to fit certain mold. I shouldn't worry about what other's think or worry that I might make them feel uncomfortable. Chances are, if I express who I am, I'll have more fun and the people around probably will too.